Find the Contractor: The Game!

So, the story I keep threatening you with is becoming bigger and bigger. I think it's safely moved out of "short story" classification at this point. I'm going to finish it, go through it again and streamline it. I was planning on having all that done by Monday. We'll see. You'll have to forgive me if it's later than that.

The weekend is coming up, and I'm sure some of you will probably go to a bar at some point this week. Here's a game you can play: Find the Contractor.

I don't mean a Blackwater contractor or a Haliburton contractor (though, you can claim bonus points if you actually do find one of them). I'm talking about the re-roof-your-house contractor or the mow-your-lawn contractor or the pour-a-new-patio contractor. Here's what to look for:

• Wearing some sort of worn baseball cap. Possibly backwards. Sometimes with a construction company's logo on it.
• Some sort of facial hair.
• Flannel.
• Some sort of rugged jacket with a hoodie underneath.
• Boots that used to be another color, but are now the color of dried mud.

Now, the level of difficulty for this game depends exclusively on geography. If you're a hipster and you only go to bars that serve twelve dollar martinis, then the odds of finding a contractor are slim... but you get more points if you do find one. If you live in the suburbs, especially if it's a suburb on the edge of civiliazation and rural-ality, then the odds go up and the points go down.

So, this weekend, when you're out and about, try it. It can provide some much needed entertainment when there's a lull in the conversation.

(Brought to you by the makers of "Find the Douschebag.")