Saturday, May 10, 2008

This is Cleveland

It was a beautiful day, today, so I went up to the roof of my building to take these photos so I could share them. Click on them. They're big photos.


This is where I live. Tell me this isn't worth trying to save.
I love my city.

Friday, May 09, 2008

You Can't Beat the 23.

Yesterday, in northeast Ohio, chaos struck. Streets were clogged with traffic. People waited in long lines for sustenance. Tempers flared. People were arrested. Kids ran out into traffic. Entire towns were brought to their knees.

What, you ask, could manifest this terrorist's wet dream so easily and completely?


Pizza.

Papa John's Pizza, specifically.

Yeah, you definitely need the back-story on this one.

During the Cleveland Cavaliers and Washington (D.C.) Wizards NBA Playoff match up, many Wizards were gunning for LeBron James, the oldest-looking 23-year old on the planet -- oh, and he's good at basketball, too. Anyway, apparently one or two people got a little overzealous, and actually struck James. He complained about it to reporters, later, because no foul was called.

This prompted many people to label James a "whiner." Call me crazy, but I think one's voice has to reach a certain pitch or octave before it can be considered whining... and LeBron is incapable of that high a pitch. He's got a really deep voice, is what I'm saying. But, whatever. I'm digressing the hell out of this.


After the "whining," Papa John's, in Washington, D.C., thought it would be funny to print up some T-shirts that said "CRYBABY" on them, with James' number, 23. I actually think that is kind of funny. No one else did. Clevelanders got pissed. They called local stores and threatened boycotts.


Papa John's corporate responded, and as an apology, all Northeast Ohio Papa John's stores would sell large, one-topping pizzas for twenty-three cents on Thursday, May 8.

Think about that for just a minute: A meal for four, for less than a quarter.

No one anticipated what would happen, next.

Not being in the business of selling cold pizza for breakfast, Papa John's stores don't usually open until the afternoon. By 9am, yesterday, people were already in line by the scores. There were over 100 people at one location before 10am, at which point that store decided to open early.

It gets better.

By lunch time, there were over 1,000 people in line at another store. Parking was gone. People had to park three blocks away. Traffic was gridlocked.

By dinner, it got even worse. 1,900 people at one store. The cops had been brought in long before that to direct traffic and keep crowds under control. Those in line quickly accosted anyone who tried to line-jump.

At some point in there, one of those line-jumpers tried to accost back and got arrested for disorderly conduct. Arrested. For pizza.

At 6pm, barricades were put up at a store because too many children were running into the street. What is it about pizza that seems to make children frantically suicidal? Someone should do a study...

Businesses close enough to a Papa John's store felt the impact, too. Apparently the wall of people was so great, that not a soul could enter their establishments to buy something other than pizza, which prompted this salvo:
By 11pm, it was all over. The pizza was gone. The greater Cleveland area slowly recovered from the calamity. We will soldier on, but we will never forget. We will never be the same again.

We will never forget that you can't beat the 23.

(Editor's note: Apparently, you can beat the 23. The Celtics have done it twice in a row, now.)

Thursday, May 01, 2008

One Last Trip to Ceres, Part II, the Next Day, the Sequel

Here's Part II of the best story ever written about space since Sunday, April 20, 2008.

Here's a first for Cleveland Rising: an update to a previous story! J.J. Abrams has said
some things that leave me with mixed feelings about the new Star Trek movie. The one that makes me feel good is that ILM is doing the VFX. ILM and Star Trek go well together. So, at least it'll look good.

Lastly, here are some things I hope to write about, or have already written and plan to release here:

  • The Death of the Music Industry
  • The Evolution of Film and Television in the 21st Century (or, The Death of the Visual Entertainment Industry)
  • More Cleveland projects, like: the new convention center, the re-location of the Port of Cleveland, and more!
  • We know Artificial Intelligence will kill us all and we continue to pursue it.
  • More original stories!
  • Action Figure Adventures: Special Edition!

Keep visiting...